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Find some small proxy act of affection that can be done regularly to say that he cares about you, and that can be kept sacred as a stand-in for everything else that's missed. Might be worth working through the missionary lessons and CES letter to see if they can agree at least to disagree. The woman I have feelings for is conflicted on her religion in regards to me. I grew up believing that when, where, and by what authority I was married were equally important to whom I married.
Marriage is hard, period. I know how long his residency lasts. When you try to explain to them why the church would not publish said info on their own website they get mad at you and tell you you're ignorant. There may be underlying personality similarities, but if the answer to "what shall I do next" is always trumped by a Morman frame of reference for one partner, but not the other, conflict is inevitable. He fit me- does that make sense. I mean lots of his friends from residency have girlfriends or wives and make it work. Also don't ask questions that are too intrusive, or those that you would not like to answer yourself. I'm dating a Mormon girl right now but we both understand that it is most likely isn't going to last long. As a Christian one's values won't allow an affair on the lonely spouse' part either - but that probably won't bug you by the sounds of it.